• Me: "Hi, welcome to Subway! How can I help you?"
  • Customer: "Uh...yeah...do you guys have sandwiches?"
  • ----
  • Me: "Welcome to Subway! What can I do for you?"
  • Customer: "Uh, do you guys have five dollar footlongs?"
  • ----
  • Me: "Welcome to Sub-"
  • Customer: "FOOTWHEAT"
  • Me: "Uh, you want a footlong on wheat br-"
  • Customer: "FOOTWHEAT"
  • ----
  • Me: "Hello there, what can I get for you?"
  • Customer: "Yeah uh.. *phone rings, answers it, holds finger up* (to me) One second. *simultaneously slips hand down pants to scratch balls*"
  • ----
  • Me: "Hello there, welcome to Subway! What can I do for you?"
  • Customer: "Haha..uh you have like...D cups, right? *staring at my tits*"

  • Jul 29 4:39 with 42 notes
    i’ve said this before, and i’ll say it again.


    when you’re getting a sandwich, and you know you want spinach…do not, for the LOVE of god—especially if you’re getting a lot of veggies—ask for it last, then ask for your sauces. that’s a recipe for a messy disaster that you brought upon yourself.

    Hahahahhahaha @lifes-a-bang

    Jul 29 3:43 with 27 notes


    Here is a list of various things that I would have done to my store if I had planned to quit in advance. (I was fired so I wasn’t able to pull any of these off) Please note that most of these would only work for a night shift where no manager would be working.

    WARNING: If you are planning on…

    Lmao @lifes-a-bang future plans

    Jul 29 3:37 with 31 notes
    Subway Probs #2



    No, it’s not a Flat Pizza, Flatista, Flatzilla, or a Flatitza


    Lmao flatitza hahahahahaa

    Jul 29 3:28 with 8 notes


    Warning, this will be long:

    When I was still working at Subway I made 7 volumes worth of “Subway Rants”. These were literally years in the making. Many of these sound bitter and angsty but it helped keep me from going completely postal and I am now happily self-employed and not dealing with the…

    @lifes-a-bang omgsh story of our fucking lives

    Jul 29 3:21 with 144 notes
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